The other day I heard a young woman say to her friend “I wish I could lose weight without starving myself & being miserable. I always gain it back and I’m tired of being fat.”
Women like her inspire me to keep telling my story, and remind me why I committed my life to helping others with training & nutrition and why I love it so much. There will be ups and downs, but just ALWAYS KEEP going!!! Just one foot in front of the other
Roughly 7 years ago I was at the lowest point of my eating disorders. I took a semester off from college to get help. I suffered from both anorexia & bulimia nervosa, cycling between the two. I would eat 500 calories a day and then go run on a treadmill till it told me I had burned off those 500 cals, sometimes more. When I got too exhausted and couldn’t handle it anymore I would binge eat junk food until I was sick. I would feel full but I couldn’t stop. And then I would throw it all up. All I wanted at that point in my life was to be stick thin and I was so unhappy with myself I partied and drank ALL the time and took drugs. Pills, cocaine, ecstasy, partying the nights away pretending to be happy and having fun but really I was a shell of a person lost and alone.
The eating disorder treatment I went through was quite successful. I learned a better relationship with food and stopped my cardio addiction. I was not allowed to do cardio and was not allowed to engage in disordered eating habits. They had training classes for us and I participated in those and became interested in incorporating lifting weights into my lifestyle. Fitness is what saved me from my eating disorders. Once I was deemed better I went back to college to finish my degree. I had improved drastically from my lowest point but still had a long way to go. I went to the gym regularly but at the time I had zero clue what I was doing (I did lat pull downs and single arm DB rows on “arm” day ). I relapsed with my eating disorder sometimes and I still partied all the time and didn’t love myself.
3 years and 7 months ago I attempted to leave the abusive relationship I was in and fully commit myself to my fitness. For another 3 months I was manipulated and hung on to familiarity until I finally left that relationship for good and started to change my life. I only relapsed with my eating disorder one time and I went to the gym regularly and starting learning more about fitness, weight lifting, and bodybuilding but I still partied all the time and didn’t love myself.
I have not relapsed with my eating disorder in 3 years and 2 months (since I met Jeff) and was in a regular gym and weight lifting routine but during our first few months together I still partied all the time and didn’t love myself.
Finally, just a little less than 3 years ago I realized I did not need alcohol or drugs to have fun and I finally started loving myself and finally starting putting all my energy into health & fitness, committing to competing in bodybuilding bikini competitions, and working towards having a career in training and nutrition.
A year and 2 months ago I quit my corporate job where I made a good living but was overworked and underpaid and it was draining the happiness out of my soul. I took a chance on doing my training and nutrition full time and I couldn’t be happier.
I don’t know a single woman who has never suffered from some sort of self consciousness or dislike of her body and/or some sort of disordered eating and/or cardio habits. And this is why I do what I do. I want women to know that you can lose weight and attain AND maintain a healthy, fit, lean body while still eating plenty of food! Less food and more cardio is NOT the answer. More nutrient dense foods and more weight lifting IS the answer.
I committed my life to training & nutrition because I want every woman to learn to love herself and treat her body right
PS – if you read all this you get a prize